Jennifer M. Wood

NBCGiven the speed at which the news cycle is moving these days, it would be impossible for a late-night host to take a two-week vacation and not miss some pretty major stories; like a former president dozing off during a certain, historic criminal hush-money trial—and more than once.It’s a lesson Seth Meyers learned the hard way this month, but he was back with a vengeance on Monday and ready to recap all the wildest news stories he missed. While Donald Trump’s courtroom siestas were an obvious topic of conversation for the Late Night host to catch up on, he was much more interested—and outraged—in Kristi Noem’s bizarre decision to write about the time she murdered her puppy.In a new memoir, aptly titled No Going Back (which likely sums up her chances of being named Trump’s running mate), the South Dakota governor described the 14-month-old wirehaired pointer named Cricket as “untrainable,” “less than worthless… as a hunting dog,” and “dangerous to anyone she came into contact with.”Read more at The Daily Beast.

Comedy CentralThat Donald Trump has a tendency toward pettiness is hardly surprising to those who have been paying attention to the former president’s antics in recent years. (See Exhibits A, B, C, D, and E.) But a late-night outburst on Wednesday attacking Bill Barr has The Daily Show correspondent and this week’s co-host Jordan Klepper declaring the former president the official “King of Pettiness.”Though Trump spent most of Thursday in a New York City courtroom (again) for his hush money trial, Klepper’s co-host Ronny Chieng said that it wasn’t all bad news for the former president. “After months of calling him unfit for office, Trump’s former attorney general Bill Barr said he’s voting for him anyway,” Chieng shared. “And Trump responded with as much grace as you’d expect.”Just after 11 p.m. on Wednesday, Trump posted the following message to Truth Social:Read more at The Daily Beast.

NBC/screengrabSaturday Night Live’s Michael Che has a history of using jokes to diminish women’s sports, and this week was no different. During Saturday’s “Weekend Update,” Che shared that “The University of Iowa announced that basketball star Caitlin Clark will have her jersey retired—and replaced with an apron.”The joke elicited plenty of groans—followed by some huge laughs when Clark herself joined Che and Colin Jost at their desk just a few seconds later.Clark wasn’t quite buying it when Che told her that he was a huge fan. “Really? Because I heard that apron joke you just did,” Clark replied.Read more at The Daily Beast.

NBC/screengrabSaturday Night Live is set to take a two-week break, but gave fans something to remember from the get-go with Saturday’s show. Ryan Gosling got one step closer to the 5 Timers Club with his third time at the helm, and brought along a few of his closest friends.After killing it at the Oscars with his performance of “I’m Just Ken,” Gosling made it clear that he wasn’t here to talk about Barbie. “I’m here because of my new movie The Fall Guy with Emily Blunt,” Gosling told the audience.“Ken and I, we had to break up. We went too deep, and it’s over, so I'm not going to talk about it,” a saddened Gosling shared of his bleached blonde Barbie character, then had a sudden change of heart. “I actually am going to talk about it a little bit.”Read more at The Daily Beast.

NBC/screengrabEver since a mysterious white substance later confirmed to be cocaine was found in the White House in July 2023, Donald Trump has been full of theories of how it got there and who it belonged to—and relishes every chance to share those assumptions. “Weekend Update” co-anchor Colin Jost has come to expect anything from the former president, but even he seemed slightly taken aback by Trump’s insinuations in a recent interview.“In a new interview, President Trump also claimed that Joe Biden was high on cocaine during the State of the Union,” said Jost, doing his best to not break out into laughter during this weekend’s Saturday Night Live. “Saying: ‘He was all jacked up at the beginning; by the end, he was fading fast.’Read more at The Daily Beast.

NBC/screengrabInducting a new member into the Saturday Night Live Five-Timers Club—an unofficial collection of celebrities who have hosted the show five or more times—is typically a momentous occasion. But former SNL cast member, and current star of the new Apple TV+ miniseries Palm Royale, Kristen Wiig might have just experienced the most star-studded induction ceremony of anyone who came before her.First up was Paul Rudd, who became a member of the club on Dec. 18, 2021. He stood up from the audience to inquire about whether there would be a star-studded celebration that he must have lost the invitation to. Wiig assured him that, no; while she was looking forward to receiving her official smoking jacket, she told Rudd there was no scripted celebration planned.Longtime SNL writer Paula Pell, who worked on the show from 1995 to 2000, was next to congratulate Wiig—albeit in a backhanded way. Although she seemed genuinely happy for Wiig, she did comment about how SNL seems to be handing out five-timers jackets “to everybody—like free maxi pads.”Read more at The Daily Beast.

NBC/ScreengrabPolitics were top of mind for Saturday Night Live’s “Weekend Update,” though not every joke landed—as Michael Che learned the hard way.“More than 5,000 people attended a Democratic fundraiser at Radio City Music Hall, featuring big-name celebrities like Barack Obama, Stephen Colbert, and Lizzo,” Che shared. “As well as lesser known celebrities like President Joe Biden.”While that shot at the president elicited laughs, Che’s next jab just moments later didn’t seem to amuse everyone. Referencing Biden’s plans to visit the site of Baltimore’s Francis Scott Key Bridge collapse, Che explained the purpose of the visit being “because, like that bridge, Biden is no longer connecting with Black communities.”Read more at The Daily Beast.

NBCSeth Meyers didn’t choose a career in comedy for his love of math, but the Late Night host knows enough about addition, subtraction, and failing social media businesses to understand that something seems off about the recent multi-billion-dollar valuation of Donald Trump’s Truth Social.“I don’t need to tell you Donald Trump needs cash and he needs it ASAP,” Meyers said at the top of Thursday’s “A Closer Look” segment. “The guy’s been hawking bibles on TV like he’s trying to raise money to go to Jesus Camp.”While there’s nothing like a $60 version of the good book to help put a few extra dollars in your pocket—especially one that inexplicably comes with copies of the Constitution, Declaration of Independence, and Bill of Rights—it turns out Trump didn’t really even need to take to bible-shilling. That’s because the cash-strapped former president’s golden goose was staring him in the face this whole time: Truth Social.Read more at The Daily Beast.

Lloyd Bishop/NBCSeth Meyers has been day drinking with celebrities for almost as long as he has been hosting Late Night. But the latest edition of “Day Drinking,” featuring Kristen Stewart, ended in a way that the Love Lies Bleeding star likely didn’t see coming: with an epic lesbian makeover… for Meyers.Like most “Day Drinking” sojourns, the bit started off amiably enough, with Meyers mixing up an array of mostly revolting cocktails for Stewart based on her filmography. As the imbibing sped up, so did the giddy shenanigans, which led to Meyers declaring the Oscar nominee both an “accomplished actress and a lesbian icon.” And he wanted to have a little taste of what it’s like to live in her world.After pointing out the collection of “lesbian accessories and clothes” that were in full supply just behind them, Meyers let Stewart know that he was not only entrusting her to give him a righteous lesbian makeover, but to turn him into a “lesbian icon.”Read more at The Daily Beast.

Comedy CentralAll eyes are on Michelle Wolf this week as she makes her triumphant return to The Daily Show, where she worked as a writer for two years of Trevor Noah’s tenure from 2016 to 2018.Wolf has made a career out of fearlessly ruffling feathers, and did just that on her first night as guest host with Jamie Foxx, New York City Mayor Eric Adams, and the artist formerly known as Puff Daddy among her targets.“Last year, New York passed a law that gave people a one-year window to file lawsuits for sexual assault that otherwise would’ve been past the statute of limitations,” Wolf explained. “Last weekend was the deadline, and boy did the lawsuits come rolling in!”Read more at The Daily Beast.